Sunday, August 8, 2010

Pontianak, Pocong Dan Toyol Nak Tomyam

pontianak: weh.. aku dgr restoran tomyam yg baru bukak tu kn.. ummphh!!!!

drakula: ye la.. aku pun terliur.. aku rasa da x nk isap darah lg.. aku nk tomyam lak..

toyol:cakap pun x guna la cik pon.. kte tetap x ley gi sana..

pontianak: aku ade idea laa.. kte kn bley tuka rupe.. smlm aku try da de rupe angelina jolie ckit..

drakula: geliga gak otak ko.. ms aku idop rupe aku mmg cam tom cruise..

toyol: prasan'' tp.. aku mane boley.. erm.. cik pon tulun balutkn sy eh..

pontianak: okie.. nk ajak si pocong x?

drakula: xyh la.. yg dier tau lompat2.. x lompat lari bogel.. tu jela(review hantuooo ep lepas2)..

pontianak: tol gak.. okie.. lepas maghrib kte tros tolak..

lepas maghrib.. kat restoran tomyam pak usup.. tom krus(drakula) dtg ngan angelina jolie(pontianak) sambil mendukung bayi(toyol).

pelanggan: wah.. artis datang restoran ni r..

angelina: order please. erm.. i nk tomyam yg plg sedap kat cni..

waiter: okie..(tau ckp mlayu rpenyer)..

50 saat kemudian.

waiter:siap cik..

tom: wah.. cam sedap neh.. biar aku mencekik dlu..

sorg pelanggan nmpk sesuatu...

pelanggan: wah!!! tom cruise de taring panjang!!!

suasana senyap sunyi... drakula pun panic.. dengan spontannyer dier patahkn kedua2 taringnyer..

tom: ii.. ini..cu..cuma.. taring palsu.. sy baru balik dari penggambaran cite jaws tu.. sy r yg jd jaws tu..

pelanggan: (jaws de taring???!!!).. oooOOoOOoo..

keadaan kembali sedia kala..

angelina: tu r ko.. mkn x reti nk cover.. biar aku lak mkn..

pontianak habiskn satu mangkok besa tomyam skali hirup.. akibat x tahan pedas.. air mata pontianak kuar..
air mata darah!! sorg pelanggan nmpk...

pelanggan: wah!! angelina kuar air mata darah!!!

sume pelanggan tkezut.. suasana jd riuh.. pontianak pun mule menggelabah..

angelina: sa..saya.. rindukan mak sy!! da lame x jumpe dia di england..

pelangganoOOoo..(tp nape air mata darah???!!)..

keadaan jd tenang semula.. toyol yg da x tahan kelaparan trus melompat atas meja utk mencekik tomyam..
sorg lg pelanggan nmpk..

pelanggan:wahh!! anak dier kaler ijau!!

sume menjadi panic.. ade separuh yg bangun utk melarikan diri..

angelina: er..anak sy ni baru je balik penggambaran cite incredible hulk ni.. kami juz nk wat surprise kat cni..

pelanggan: ooOOoo.. hebat la lakonan kamu.. kami sume panic td.. haha..

keadaan jd ok balik.. tanpa disedari oleh para hantu-hantuoo, azan isyak pun berkumandang..

pontianak, drakula dan toyol: warRRrrgGGghhHH!!!!!!!!!!!!(terbakar).

semua pelanggan berdiri sambil bertepuk tgn dan bersorak sbb ingatkn tu lakonan dari mreka lg..

How many faces can you find?(IQ Test)

To test your intelligence:


If can find 0 ? 5 faces ? idiot
If can find 6 ? 7 faces ? stupid
If can find 8 ? 9 faces ? normal
If can find 10 ? 11 ? very normal
If can find 12 ? 13 faces genius

Who says our English is teruk?

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc...

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money...
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Celaka u

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